Reality
by ObsessedWatcher
Summary: John's doubting. Sherlock's confused. Misunderstandings. Sorry I am bad at writing stories and writing summaries but please give me a chance and read!


**John's POV **

I, John Hamish Watson, am in love. Granted I never thought I would find my ultimate happiness with a man but I did. I've been thinking about proposing for months but I'm afraid Sherlock will say no or worse, realize he can do so much better than me and break it off. So I haven't even bought a ring yet. I'm too afraid of losing him. I'll just wait a little longer before proposing. We haven't been together all that long anyways. I decide to just continue on as nothing was bothering me.

With Sherlock's growing popularity we have been getting more and more people coming to our flat asking for help. Of course Sherlock finds most of the stuff boring or tedious. He picks cases that are not too boring. DI Lestrade has us help on a couple of cases he is stumped on. Sherlock can't even seem to solve them.

Then we get an interesting case of murder. So of course it isn't that interesting because Sherlock doesn't even leave the flat he sends me but I am happy to go. Then a helicopter shows up and before I know it I am in the Buckingham Palace with Sherlock who isn't even dressed. (Not that I mind that).

Mycroft had asked us to help a client. Of course Sherlock was acting childish because it was Mycroft asking for help. In the end he agreed and we set off. That is when we meet on Miss Irene Adler, better known as 'the Woman'.

I can tell Sherlock is taken by her right off that bat. Not that he would ever admit it but he is. I start to feel a little upset but then again what do I expect. I am so far from anything Sherlock deserves. I'm so far below Sherlock in the scheme of things I wonder why he stayed with me this long. Now there is a beautiful woman who is interested in him so it was just a matter of time before he left me.

I decide to make the best of the time we have left before he leaves me for Miss Adler.

I thought I was doing an amazing job hiding the hurt feelings of the text messages he got that I knew where from the Woman. If Sherlock did notice my feelings he didn't say anything.

Then Irene died. Well at least we thought she did. Sherlock began playing sad music on his violin and you could tell he was hurt. I began wondering if he would be effected the same way if I died. I doubt he would. He would probably just forget or even delete me. I'm not that important anyways.

Mycroft's secretary picks me up and takes me to where I think I'll be meeting Mycroft. Imagine my surprise when it's the Woman. I tell her to tell Sherlock she is alive because he deserves to be happy and even if I am not the one to give him that I can at least make Irene see that she makes him happy.

Sherlock of course had to follow me to the meeting and now knows Irene is alive.

Maybe I can get her to admit her attraction to him. Even if she says she is gay I can see something there.

She comes to the apartment and is in his robe. Of course I am yet again hurt but I try not to let it show. He shows off for her, she smiles.

The showing off has its fallback. He screwed up an operation by doing so. I guess Irene didn't realize how lucky she was and ruined Sherlock but Sherlock being Sherlock got back at her and unlocked her phone and gave it to Mycroft.

Sherlock's back to playing sad music on his violin again. This is when I realize I need to leave.

I would never leave Sherlock unless he wanted me too. Right now I think he wants me too. He loved Irene in a way I know he could never love me and I think he realizes he can no longer be with me.

This brings me to now. I'm in my old room thinking of how to get out of the flat without Sherlock seeing. I don't want to cause him anymore heartbreak or pain. Him seeing me would do that. He would be reminded of what he has lost when it came to Irene.

So I quietly go down the stairs and lucky for me he is in the kitchen. I am able to go down the next flight of stairs without him seeing me because he is so engrossed in the experiment on the table.

Once I am out on the street I look for a newspaper stand.

I need to start looking for flats.

**Sherlock's POV**

I look up as I hear the door to the flat close. I call out "John?"

I receive no response.

I know John has left then.

I know I haven't been being the best boyfriend lately but that's due to being on a case. John should know that. John's been acting strange too though.

Before the whole Irene case I was going to propose to John. Then the case came up and John was acting weird so I thought John was going to break up with me. I decided not to propose until after the case. Hopefully by then John would be back to normal.

I did have feelings for Irene but only in the way that she challenged me. Other than that she was nothing of importance. I only love and will ever love John Hamish Watson.

It's been weeks sense I saved Irene from death. Maybe John thinks I am sad about her death? He acted the same way when she fake died the first time. That could be why he is acting strange. I'll tell him I saved her and everything will go back to normal.

**John's POV**

I finally found a flat suitable enough to move in. I'll call the person who put the ad up when I get back home.

Home.

That's what it is. It's home. I am with the person I love and I feel comfortable. It makes me smile for a little. Then I remember why I have to go "home" in the first place.

I don't not want to face Sherlock. To see what I lost. But I have to. I enter the flat and see Sherlock. Maybe I should tell him I am moving out now. Before I can speak though Sherlock starts.

I hear him say. "I saved Irene. So I know she isn't dead. There is no need for you to be upset for me".

I have no idea what to say to him. I'm shocked. The Woman. Yes, Sherlock's love, Irene Adler, is alive.

Right then and there I know I made the right choice to leave. Now Sherlock can be with Irene without me being in the way.

I tell him I am moving out. A look of shock then acceptance cross his face. I realize I will never love anyone like I love him but he deserves happiness and I know I cannot give him that. I want to let him know I love him though and before I know it my lips are moving.

"Sherlock I just want you to know I love you and always will but I know you don't love me. Why would you? You are smart, clever, funny, beautiful. I am just average, boring, ordinary. So I just want you to know I am happy that Irene is alive. Now I know my decision to leave is for the best because now you can be with someone you love. So yeah that's it. I love you and good-bye". I look at him for a minute before turning and heading up to start back my things.

Before I even make it to the first step I have a hand on my arm and I am being turned around.

**Sherlock's POV**

For the first time I am absolutely speechless. Johns leaving. I thought I was everything he wanted. I guess I was wrong. Before I know it I start to feel angry. I am about to start yelling but he is speaking again.

Wait, WHAT? He thinks I want Irene over him. I never knew he thought so little of himself. I start to feel guilty. I'm so caught up in what he is saying and my own thoughts that I don't realize he has stopped talking and is heading for the stairs. I grab his arm and turn him around.

I kiss him. When I pull back we are both breathing hard but John looks like he is about to cry. So I start talking.

"John I am so sorry that I made you feel like that. I want you to know that I love you. Only you. I could never love anyone like I love you. You are not ordinary. You are extraordinary. You are kind, funny, cute. You always make sure I eat and you follow me on cases that others would find crazy. I could not bare to see you leave me. So please don't move. I want you here with me".

John says, "Okay" and then he is smiling. He is smiling that smile that makes my heart beat faster and butterflies flutter in my stomach.

John Watson really is one of a kind.

**Epilogue- John's POV**

_3 Months later_

I cannot believe my how happy I am. Sherlock and I are engaged and we are solving crimes better than ever.

If I think about it I guess I am thankful that Sherlock and I met Irene. Without her I may never have been has happy and confident in my relationship with Sherlock.

After our small conversation about me leaving. Sherlock and I had a much longer one talking about all the issues we had within our relationship. Such as me not believing I am good enough for Sherlock. Ect. We talked all of that out and we became closer.

Sherlock said we needed to go on a real date. With a restaurant and movie. I was of course shocked (who would have thought Sherlock was a romantic) but I was happy to go on one.

That is where he proposed. I couldn't believe it. Of course I said Yes. Well more like screamed it.

I was now engaged to the most amazing man I have ever met. I cannot wait to get married.


End file.
